Book of the Month

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling MenWhy Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men


By Lundy Bancroft

"He doesn't mean to hurt me-he just loses control."
" He can be sweet and gentle."
" He's scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he's a great father."
" He's had a really hard life..."

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

  • The early warning signs
  • Nine abusive personality types
  • How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
  • The role of drugs and alcohol
  • What can be fixed, and what can't
  • How to leave a relationship safely

Customer Reviews:

Rating: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men! - A timely and extremely valuable eye-opener. Life and sanity saving!
This book was a Godsend. It was extremely useful in helping me understand the reasoning and motivation behind my husband's abusive behavior, and it gave me clear and compelling guidance about how to deal with it from the man recognized as the leading expert in this field. I have shared it with my pastor and intend to give copies to several dear counselors and friends who mean well and love me but aren't really familiar with the issues surrounding domestic violence and abuse. This book will give a great deal of valuable insight to anyone in need or interested in supporting others in crisis (both the battered and those who batter). I feel like it has truly been a life-line.

Rating: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men! - A must read by everyone
As a counselor for women who are currently involved in or out of domestic violence relationships I recommend this book to every single one of my clients. Unfortunately some couples counselors miss the entire point of the book. Being more informed about domestic and sexual violent relationships will clear the misunderstanding that a survivor of domestic violence has some control over their abuse. Bancroft gives women who are going through these relationships an inside look on what type of men they are dealing with. As a professional working with women who are in daily fear of their lives and the lives of others around them you should know and believe that violence is never the survivors fault. Abuse by one person onto another is NEVER unconscious. It is ALWAYS a choice to be an abusive person and insisting to a survivor to simply "get out" of a domestic violence relationship re victimizes that individual and shows the ignorance of the professional. This book will give the reader lots of referrals and other books to read at the end of the reading. I recommend that professionals and women who need help take a look at all the recommended reading given by Lundy.

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence Awareness Month evolved from the first Day of Unity observed in October, 1981 by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The intent was to connect battered women’s advocates across the nation who were working to end violence against women and their children. The Day of Unity soon became a special week when a range of activities were conducted at the local, state, and national levels. More information can be found at NCADV.